Crazy old terminology and parts

[FC-Pilot]

My dad still to this day talks about the Duntov 30-30 cam he put in one of his Z-28s. At least he now can accept that there are better choices, but it took him a while to admit it. Only twenty years.

One I got a kick out of was a friends dad telling me that the Ford firring order was so much better than Chevy because you could balance a quarter in the air cleaner and it was so smooth it would not fall over.

We run a stack injected Funny car and it never fails, we will hear at least one set of kids come up and point to the port injectors and tell his friends (look, they are running Naws).

Being that our family also plays with v-drive boats, we often will get the "jetboat guys" to come up and want to race as they have a 460 Ford and that is bigger and therefore faster than our little SBC. Those are ALWAYS fun.

"I get SCRATCH going into every gear". Love that one too.

"Hogged the heads"

"Mine is faster because I have a '383 STOKER MOTOR'."

Gota have a set of "pink rods". I love that you hear them in small and big blocks.

My all time favorite is still a ritual from one of my neighbors. To "Break In" his new race engines he fires them up, gets them up to full temp (around 175-190) and "SEATS" the engine by dumping a full 5 gallon bucket of water on the engine while running.

Paul

[Keith Morganstein]

Lets see...

So fast you can't grab a 100 bill off the dash.

I read this one in a mag years ago. It involved a 427 shelby cobra and a $20. bill under the visor the passenger had to grab.

One old story that got passed around this area for 20 years or so was.... young Girl had a doctor for a dad, he bought her a super built Corvette and on the back she had painted "if you can beat me, you can eat me" Funny every time the story got told the year and color of the Corvette changed.

That one was in a movie too...Gumball Rally?

[Keith Morganstein]

Well, my father had a Nash Rambler with a straight six and an industrial electric supercharger. Out at Willow Run he said the top speed exceeded 140 mph -- at some point in the run the convertible top was sucked off.

This one wins...

[Kevin Johnson]

Well, my father had a Nash Rambler with a straight six and an industrial electric supercharger. Out at Willow Run he said the top speed exceeded 140 mph -- at some point in the run the convertible top was sucked off.

This one wins...

The car met its demise while he was following a truck a bit too closely. The owner had a respray done and they painted over the rear stop lights. I don't think my grandfather was too upset, though.

[MotionMachine]

[quote="Cedarmachine"]One of our buddies had a friend who was building a V8 vega once and swore that he had to use a short block because a long block wouldn't fit..


This reminds me of the time a guy brought back a SBC exhaust gasket because it didn't fit. I told him that one is for a short block, I tore the 2 end ones off at the perforation and said there, now it's for a long block. He didn't even get it, went on his merry way. I also had a guy ask for a 5/8 race cam, and another guy asked if he had to take the heads off the car for me to do a valve job.

[Kevin Johnson]

Puppet valves.

[BigBlocksOnTop]

Say you wanna race? Follow me to the track so you can start getting use to how the back of my car looks!

[user-3597028]

How about the guy who ports his heads without removing the valves??

And then once a guy brought back his heads to my shop and said, "do you regularly rip people off and not do work that you charged for??" I ask him what the problem is, and he thrusts a valve across the counter at me and says "I paid for a three angle valve job, WTF is this?" shaking the valve at me...

So, I calmly explain to him how the three angles are on the seat, and I show him all three on his head...so then it's my fault he is confused because he says, in MY day, the valve seated in three places or some garble... Anyway, in not so nice of terms, I told him not to come back for anything else.

[user-3597028]

Oh, and another. While we were in school, we had a guy scrounge a junkyard for a complete set of PINK rods. He had to disassemble 10-12 engines for a full set.
So, he proudly displays his set.....a full, mismatched, set of 8 rods, all copper dipped on the big end.

So, then I explain to him how the copper dipped rods were ones that were improperly sized from the factory and were dipped in copper to decrease the bore size so it could be re-honed correctly. He had a full set of re-claimed factory seconds....

[shoedoos]

more on the "you can eat me" story here....

http://www.connectinghighway.com/forum/ ... hp?f=3&t=6

[dirtdemon59]

Bowl hogg, valve seats replaced(seals usually), Please "home" my block, Dont cut my head any more than you have too( nah i'm gonna stand there and keep cuttin for the hell of it), Please magnaflow these parts!

I had a guy that said his 289 "beat everybody around" because he took something and polished all the carbon off his pistons and made them shiny. He also torqued the heads down to 95# and that gave him so much more compression thats why it was fast. He instructed me to do so on his longblock I was building for him. I told him I would torque 65-70 like it was supposed to and he could retorque themlater

[user-3597028]

I had this idiot that I used to do some work for on his stock and superstock engines. I have since fired him though. Man, he knew everything.

"Magic" acid porting. ( I added the "magic" term. We call it that when we make jokes about him. His own kids included)
----------------------------
Anyway, he had heads on one of his small block stock eliminator engines that he insisted were "acid ported". I laid one on the counter, next to a totally stock one of the same casting number. I started measuring the ports for him, with a caliper and a machinists divider. I measured height, width, cross sections etc. I did this in several areas and his head was the same or even smaller that the stock one I had. It was NOT ported...this was a fact.

After several minutes of this, and showing him that from a dimensional standpoint, these heads were the same as a stock head in every respect, he continued to contend that they were "acid ported"...he kept adamantly stating, "all I know is, that they said they were acid ported"...so I say, I am SHOWING you that these heads are not acid ported, yet you still believe what someone "TOLD" you over what I am showing you as fact...He answered that with "all I know is they are ported"...what a dick. His wife sat there with the most embarrassed look on her face, as she understood what i was showing them and knew what I was saying was true. Typical battered wife syndrome...accept and shut up...poor lady.

I could not make him agree with me. He is a real controlling prick and couldn't concede to the fact that someone lied to him and ripped him off. Anyway, shortly after that, his cheap ass tried to make yet another of his screw ups my problem, and he was fired and banned from the property. Nobody tells me what to do...

[donc]

"Can you hone my block for bigger rings? cause I dont want to buy pistons?" Or while eating lunch a fellow walked in , and in broken english asks" You gotta makeum biger machine?" I ask make what bigger? He puts his hands out with about 4" distance from each other. I walked him over to the boring machine , asked " Is this the makeum bigger machine your asking about" answers yes.

[user-3597028]

Oh, how about this one;

My buddy put such a big cam in his engine that they had to NOTCH the CAM BEARINGS to get it in!!!

[TEROL]

Hurst floor shift conversion called Mystery Shifter.....always a mystery what gear your in
Haulin' the mail
Walkin' the dog